Non-baseball post

I don't know if any of you on here have heard of Kissing Suzy Kolber, but it's a football/comedy blog that can be funny. In particular, their weekly Fire Joe Morgan style takedown of Peter King columns is pretty classic. Anyways, they also do a weekly "sex/fantasy football" advice column here, and I'm reading it today when I realize that one of the entries sounds extremely familiar.

After calling to confirm, yes, the "Chiefs fan at USC" is none other than our own owner of the Josh Hamiltoes, Brett. I thought I'd post it and try to embarrass him with a bunch of people he's never (except for Jake) really met in person.

The Ryan Howard joke of a contract

The Hardball Times has a great write-up on the Howard contract.

Week 3 Roto Stats

. Hitting R PTS HR PTS RBI PTS SB PTS AVG PTS OPS PTS CYC PTS Total RANK . Jabberwocks 39 7 6 3 29 3 8 7.5 0.317 8 0.904 8 0 4.5 41 1 . The Josh Hamiltoes 29 5.5 8 6 29 3 8 7.5 0.297 7 0.863 7 0 4.5 40.5 2 . Olerud Helmeteers 40 8 8 6 36 7 4 3.5 0.262 4.5 0.762 4 0 4.5 37.5 3 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 25 2 8 6 28 1 5 5 0.276 6 0.77 5 0 4.5 29.5 4 . The Old Mill 27 3.5 6 3 30 5 6 6 0.262 4.5 0.713 2 0 4.5 28.5 5 . Doc's LSD No-No 27 3.5 9 8 29 3 3 1.5 0.25 2 0.798 6 0 4.5 28.5 5 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 21 1 6 3 38 8 3 1.5 0.258 3 0.741 3 0 4.5 24 7 . Tito Landrum Express 29 5.5 5 1 31 6 4 3.5 0.228 1 0.701 1 0 4.5 22.5 8 . . . Pitching W PTS S PTS K PTS ERA PTS WHIP PTS K/BB PTS NH PTS Total RANK . Jason Bere's Sluggers 4 7 4 7 49 7 2.36 7 1.29 3 3.5 8 0 4.5 43.5 1 . The Josh Hamiltoes 2 3.5 6 8 44 6 2.11 8 1.15 8 2.75 5 0 4.5 43 2 . Jabberwocks 5 8 3 6 50 8 4.47 3 1.28 4 3.13 6 0 4.5 39.5 3 . Olerud Helmeteers 1 2 2 4.5 35 5 4.26 4 1.21 6.5 2.69 4 0 4.5 30.5 4 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 3 5.5 1 2.5 29 2.5 3.4 5 1.21 6.5 1.93 2 0 4.5 28.5 5 . Doc's LSD No-No 3 5.5 0 1 30 4 4.59 2 1.41 2 3.33 7 0 4.5 26 6 . Tito Landrum Express 0 1 1 2.5 29 2.5 2.63 6 1.24 5 1.81 1 0 4.5 22.5 7 . The Old Mill 2 3.5 2 4.5 26 1 7.31 1 1.75 1 2.36 3 0 4.5 18.5 8

. . . . Overall PTS RANK . The Josh Hamiltoes 83.5 1 . Jabberwocks 80.5 2 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 73 3 . Olerud Helmeteers 68 4 . Doc's LSD No-No 54.5 5 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 52.5 6 . The Old Mill 47 7 . Tito Landrum Express 45 8 . . . Hitting Player of the Week R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Justin Morneau, Util, Jabberwocks 6 2 7 0 0.476 1.56 0 . . Pitching Player of the Week W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . Ricky Nolasco, SP, Jason Bere's Sluggers 1 0 9 1.13 ,88 INF 0 .

. . Hitting Bench Stud R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Michael Bourn, CF, Doc's LSD No-No 7 0 1 7 0.316 0.887 0 . . Pitching Bench Stud W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . Barry Zito, SP, Jabberwocks 1 0 10 0 0.75 3.33 0 . . . Hitting Lead Balloon R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Yunel Escobar, SS, The Old Mill 0 0 0 0 0.063 0.336 0 . . Pitching Lead Balloon W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . John Lackey, SP, Jabberwocks 1 0 6 9.58 2.13 2 0 . . . Hitting Unsigned Player of the Week R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Paul Konerko, 1B, Chicago White Sox 4 4 6 0 0.45 1.692 0 . . Pitching Unsigned Player of the Week W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . Tyler Clippard, RP, Washington Nationals 1 0 10 0 0.33 10 0

.

Overall Roto Stats

. Hitting R PTS HR PTS RBI PTS SB PTS AVG PTS OPS PTS CYC PTS Total RANK . Jabberwocks 115 8 19 2 91 4 29 8 0.307 8 0.884 8 0 4.5 42.5 1 . Olerud Helmeteers 114 7 30 8 105 7 20 6 0.267 3 0.804 3 0 4.5 38.5 2 . The Old Mill 93 5 26 6 115 8 10 2 0.286 7 0.816 5 0 4.5 37.5 3 . The Josh Hamiltoes 89 3 29 7 99 5 11 3 0.274 5 0.844 7 0 4.5 34.5 4 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 104 6 24 4.5 85 2 22 7 0.275 6 0.807 4 0 4.5 34 5 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 90 4 24 4.5 102 6 14 4 0.269 4 0.824 6 0 4.5 33 6 . Tito Landrum Express 86 1 15 1 88 3 16 5 0.238 1 0.709 1 0 4.5 16.5 7 . Doc's LSD No-No 88 2 23 3 78 1 9 1 0.245 2 0.746 2 0 4.5 15.5 8 . . . Pitching W PTS S PTS K PTS ERA PTS WHIP PTS K/BB PTS NH PTS Total RANK . The Josh Hamiltoes 13 8 10 7.5 150 8 2.25 8 1.09 8 3.06 7 0 4 50.5 1 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 9 4.5 10 7.5 129 6 3.13 7 1.22 7 2.53 5 1 8 45 2 . Jabberwocks 12 7 9 6 117 3 3.59 6 1.27 4 2.44 4 0 4 34 3 . Doc's LSD No-No 10 6 3 1 123 4.5 4.34 2 1.24 5.5 3.42 8 0 4 31 4 . Tito Landrum Express 7 3 7 4 123 4.5 3.81 4.5 1.24 5.5 2.37 3 0 4 28.5 5 . The Old Mill 9 4.5 7 4 84 1 3.81 4.5 1.35 2.5 2.9 6 0 4 26.5 6 . Olerud Helmeteers 4 1 7 4 135 7 4.08 3 1.35 2.5 2.18 2 0 4 23.5 7 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 6 2 6 2 105 2 4.42 1 1.37 1 1.98 1 0 4 13 8

. . . . Overall PTS RANK . The Josh Hamiltoes 85 1 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 79 2 . Jabberwocks 76.5 3 . The Old Mill 64 4 . Olerud Helmeteers 62 5 . Doc's LSD No-No 46.5 6 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 46 7 . Tito Landrum Express 45 8 .

Thursday Links

Thursday = Links.

We have a winner in our no-hitter category. In the grand scheme of things, that one point likely isn't going to matter, but it was a fun night (same night as the cardinals-mets marathon). And then Phil Hughes last night was a bummer (luckily he was unowned). Imagine missing a no-hitter because of that play. Or a cycle because of a pesky single.

This is a crayola box of baseball.

Get up to date probabilities of your team making the playoffs.

This NYT blog post about what happens to all of the #42 jerseys from Jackie Robinson day answered a question I never knew I had. Not quite the same, but good nonetheless, is what the NFL did with all of those Colts shirts.

Lastly, I posted a story about floating realignment last Thursday, but there are calls to eliminate divisions altogether, and suggestions that we should not. This would potentially do a lot for the game. I'm already tired of watching the cards play the astros this season, and it's terrible that I only get to see them out in SF for three games a year. What do you think?

And this.

holy shit! holy shit! holy shit!

MLB.TV supposedly to start broadcasting on the PS3 by the end of the week. For those of us without a Roku, this shit just got awesome.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/technology/22sony.html?src=busln

Roto Overall Stats

. Hitting R PTS HR PTS RBI PTS SB PTS AVG PTS OPS PTS CYC PTS Total RANK . Jabberwocks 76 7 13 2 62 4 21 8 0.302 8 0.873 8 0 4.5 41.5 1 . The Old Mill 66 4 20 6 85 8 4 2 0.297 7 0.866 7 0 4.5 38.5 2 . Olerud Helmeteers 74 6 22 8 69 6 16 6 0.27 4 0.826 3.5 0 4.5 38 3 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 69 5 18 5 64 5 11 4 0.275 6 0.863 6 0 4.5 35.5 4 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 79 8 16 4 57 2.5 17 7 0.274 5 0.826 3.5 0 4.5 34.5 5 . The Josh Hamiltoes 60 2 21 7 70 7 3 1 0.263 3 0.834 5 0 4.5 29.5 6 . Doc's LSD No-No 61 3 14 3 49 1 6 3 0.242 1.5 0.722 2 0 4.5 18 7 . Tito Landrum Express 57 1 10 1 57 2.5 12 5 0.242 1.5 0.714 1 0 4.5 16.5 8 . . . Pitching W PTS S PTS K PTS ERA PTS WHIP PTS K/BB PTS NH PTS Total RANK . The Josh Hamiltoes 11 8 4 2 106 8 2.3 8 1.07 8 3.21 6 0 4 44 1 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 5 3 6 7 80 4 3.54 5 1.18 6.5 2.16 4 1 8 37.5 2 . Tito Landrum Express 7 5.5 6 7 94 6 4.32 2 1.24 4 2.61 5 0 4 33.5 3 . The Old Mill 7 5.5 5 4 58 1 2.47 7 1.2 5 3.22 7 0 4 33.5 3 . Doc's LSD No-No 7 5.5 3 1 93 5 4.26 3 1.18 6.5 3.44 8 0 4 33 5 . Jabberwocks 7 5.5 6 7 67 2 3.03 6 1.27 3 2.09 3 0 4 30.5 6 . Olerud Helmeteers 3 1.5 5 4 100 7 4.02 4 1.4 2 2.04 2 0 4 24.5 7 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 3 1.5 5 4 76 3 4.86 1 1.43 1 2 1 0 4 15.5 8

. . . . Overall PTS RANK . The Josh Hamiltoes 73.5 1 . Jabberwocks 72 2 . The Old Mill 72 2 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 72 2 . Olerud Helmeteers 62.5 5 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 51 6 . Doc's LSD No-No 51 6 . Tito Landrum Express 50 8 .

Roto Stats Week 2

. Hitting R PTS HR PTS RBI PTS SB PTS AVG PTS OPS PTS CYC PTS Total RANK . Olerud Helmeteers 45 8 13 7.5 42 7 6 6 0.268 5 0.851 6 0 4.5 44 1 . The Old Mill 34 5 13 7.5 47 8 3 2.5 0.288 7 0.881 7 0 4.5 41.5 2 . Jabberwocks 40 6 6 2 33 5 14 8 0.332 8 0.947 8 0 4.5 41.5 2 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 42 7 7 3.5 25 2 10 7 0.273 6 0.835 5 0 4.5 35 4 . Tito Landrum Express 25 2.5 8 5 37 6 5 5 0.261 4 0.779 3 0 4.5 30 5 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 25 2.5 9 6 28 3.5 2 1 0.246 2.5 0.826 4 0 4.5 24 6 . The Josh Hamiltoes 21 1 7 3.5 28 3.5 3 2.5 0.246 2.5 0.726 2 0 4.5 19.5 7 . Doc's LSD No-No 28 4 4 1 22 1 4 4 0.209 1 0.628 1 0 4.5 16.5 8 . . . Pitching W PTS S PTS K PTS ERA PTS WHIP PTS K/BB PTS NH PTS Total RANK . The Josh Hamiltoes 6 8 2 2.5 44 4 1.99 8 1.15 6 2.32 4 0 4 36.5 1 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 3 4.5 3 5 36 3 2.45 5 1.07 8 1.71 2 1 8 35.5 2 . Tito Landrum Express 4 6.5 4 7.5 56 8 5.3 1 1.33 1 3.11 7 0 4 35 3 . Jabberwocks 4 6.5 3 5 28 2 2.02 7 1.12 7 1.56 1 0 4 32.5 4 . Doc's LSD No-No 3 4.5 2 2.5 45 5.5 3.63 3 1.16 5 3.75 8 0 4 32.5 4 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 2 2 4 7.5 45 5.5 4.83 2 1.28 2.5 2.5 5 0 4 28.5 6 . The Old Mill 2 2 3 5 21 1 2.23 6 1.27 4 2.63 6 0 4 28 7 . Olerud Helmeteers 2 2 1 1 50 7 3.29 4 1.28 2.5 2.17 3 0 4 23.5 8

. . . . Overall PTS RANK . Jabberwocks 74 1 . Jason Bere's Sluggers 70.5 2 . The Old Mill 69.5 3 . Olerud Helmeteers 67.5 4 . Tito Landrum Express 65 5 . The Josh Hamiltoes 56 6 . Gilkey's Eyeballs 52.5 7 . Doc's LSD No-No 49 8 . . . Hitting Player of the Week R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Matt Kemp, OF, Olerud Helmeteers 8 4 8 1 0.333 1.289 0 . . Pitching Player of the Week W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . Matt Garza, SP, The Josh Hamiltoes 2 0 10 0.56 0.94 2 0 .

. . Hitting Bench R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Carlos Pena, 1B, Tito Landrum Express 6 3 9 1 0.292 1.037 0 . . Pitching Bench W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . David Price, SP, Jason Bere's Sluggers 1 0 7 1.29 0.86 3.5 0 . . . Hitting Lead Balloon R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Chris Coughlan, OF, Tito Landrum Express 0 0 0 0 0 0.05 0 . . Pitching Lead W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . Gavin Floyd, SP, Tito Landrum Express 0 0 7 14.14 3 1.17 0 . . . Hitting Unsigned R HR RBI SB AVG OPS CYC . Jose Guillen, OF, KC Royals 7 3 5 1 0.462 1.385 0 . . Pitching Unsigned W S K ERA WHIP K/BB NH . Jonathan Sanchez, SP, SF Giants 1 0 11 0 0.75 3.67 0

.